But actually, you yourself get “very turned on” as you read it, so you do get it, in a sense. You would not get so turned on by the idea of so-called ‘erotic’ spanking, would you? So their insistence that it is not erotic is functional. The whole thing would probably feel too unreal and game-like to them if they opened their eyes to the eroticism in the dynamic. And it is probably true that their punishment spanking is not erotic at the time, otherwise it would not have the necessary thoroughness for the authority of the man to feel real. So I can understand why some prefer to think that there is nothing erotic about it. I agree, it sounds a bit deluded, but I do think that these denials are functional in psychological terms.

by Sarah Cavendish on 2005 May 7 - 06:52 | reply to this comment
Is it verbal abuse? I don't know. . . .
Hi, Louise,

Like so many others who post here, I very much enjoy your take on things. Your humor and intelligence shine through everything you write. However, I must say that I was disturbed by the comment you attributed to your husband, "like most women, you haven't got two brain cells to rub together." To me, that's abusive, and disrespectful of you.

One of the things I most enjoy about this site in addition to clever and thoughtful posts that so many here take the time to make is the fact that slamming women is not (generally) tolerated. Every once in a while, though, I get the sense that it is subtly (or not so subtly) there as part of the man's domination of his woman. This is one of those times, and it makes me uncomfortable. To me, it contrasts poorly with the obvious love, respect and even borderline adoration that several men who post on this site clearly have for their wives and girlfriends.

Having said this, you seem very happy in your marriage. What is your take on this issue?

Blessings to you and to everybody here,

by SA on 2005 May 7 - 11:39 | reply to this comment
Oh, the irony!
This comment made me laugh! It is quite amusing to see someone saying negative things about Louise's (lovely, in my view) husband, just like Louise and others make very negative (and equally misguided in my view) judgements about some of the men writing articles on Taken In Hand.

SA, I don't know Louise and her husband in person, but from all that she has said, I think you